Let Go and Let God

If you’ve read my account of recovery, you know I have a history of attending 12 step groups (ACOA). Some groups are better than others. A general piece of wisdom shared is to “Let Go and Let God”; this along with the entire program has application in all aspects of life.

Yesterday seemed to have been a landmark day for me. I’ve been thinking about my role in this condition, steps I’ve taken and the understanding of Morgellons. I’d like to make some remarks directed toward approaching Morgellons as a sufferer, my current situation, and then I’m going to “Let Go and Let God”.

First, it is unfair and cruel we have been labeled as delusional. We know enough about the physiology of this condition to know this is not simply a psychological phenomenon. The symptoms are systemic and include less spectacular (such as low body temperature, high resting heart rate, endocrine disorders, and many others) to more spectacular (of course the fibers and the crawling sensations). If you have followed my research and, like me, believe the foundation of this condition to be mercury as a neurotoxin, a blood test of glutathione levels should indicate whether the body is burdened by mercury (other tests may not be the best indicators). I do think it is easy to get overwhelmed by approaching this condition and hope the list below helps as a suggested outline of conquest.

1) In recovery setting up your defense before your offense is wise (to avoid other health issues down the path to wellness).
2) There are many suggested protocols out there. In general those which appear to succeed are directed toward reclaiming the internal terrain. The book I’ve recently recommended by Alison Adams has, I believe, the best thought out approach to detoxifying our insides (she also brings up the importance of body/mind connections and how thoughts play a part in recovery). Protocols recommended by Mr. Commonsense, Ramona at Healing Grapevine, Trish Springstead, RN at ESP Botanicals, Pam Crane (and all of her blog/radio guests), as well as myself have overlap and appear helpful. I also recommend the book The Tao of Detox as it gives some clarity on living with the toxins of today. Links for all of these sources are found in the upper right hand corner.
3) Consistency and patience are needed to recover. Tap into your spiritual side. Believe fully what you believe. Set your sight on recovery. Keep it simple and be good to yourself.
4) Know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Apologies for using the internet means of shouting, but it is so important. What you are going through is tough. Use the resources available to you. I am certain there are many sufferers who have little or no access to the internet (specifically the tribes in Africa with documented similar symptoms which, I believe may be down steam from historic mining with mercury used in extracting gold and silver in tailing piles getting into the water sources). No matter what our situation, there is always someone who has it worse.
5) Find peace as you pick up the pieces. Keep a quiet place for prayer and meditation. You deserve it!
6) Document what you go through. The more of us speaking, the more likely we will be heard (shades of Horton Hears a Who comes to mind). Start your own blog if you’d like or just keep a journal for yourself (it will help you understand how you progress). Let people know what you’re going through. Patterns emerge as we all know we have something to say.
7) Keep faith that real answers will come soon. There is enough research going on to establish the truth of this condition. Once the truth is known, I suspect there will be a landslide of medical researchers looking at this. Keep hopeful!

My current state of affair is less than perfect, but could be a whole lot worse. Going to Africa for work last year was extremely stressful and appears to have set off some endocrine related problems (I documented my body temperature falling as low as 91.8F) which appears now to be stabilizing at a closer to normal. I have had little income since my return. I am currently substitute teaching on an as need basis and renting out a room in my house to cover my basic costs. I continue to write and am waiting for word from my editor on my most recent novel (who knows maybe it’ll be a best seller?). I have started to see a mental health professional to deal with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and related family issues; it is helpful. I continue to exercise regularly, eat well, take supplements, and keep my eye on the pie of true health.

Yesterday as a turning point happened for several reasons…but I think it is long overdue. I wrote up a pitch for the Discovery Channel for a short series on the history of Morgellons symptoms, sent it off last month, and yesterday received a form letter rejection email (not quite the Xerox of a Xerox (my brother-in-law who works for Xerox keeps reminding me Xerox is not a verb) I often get from publishers, but damn close). Part of what prompted me to write the proposal was the recent History Channel piece suggesting Morgellons was an alien bacteria which had come down in a meteorite (and they call us crazy!?).

The other event which made me think it is time to let go, is I found my email blocked by someone who is well qualified to assess the Morgellons symptoms (especially in relation to toxicity). This condition can certainly make me feel a little spastic and I had overdone the “look at this” approach (actually, I take this recent state of mind as a good sign meaning toxins are being shaken out and released). Honestly, I don’t blame this person for rejecting my efforts; I needed to be reminded of “passing the buck” not happening as simply as sending off my research or associated pieces of the puzzle.

Speaking of research, I’ve done plenty. I was the first to document recovery of the major symptoms and felt it was my duty as an archaeologist to pursue patterns I found in history. I felt these pieces being published in a medical journal would certainly get some of the world to look at this condition in a better light. This past year I published a piece describing The Barrier Theory and hope it will be considered by researchers. This month another piece (and I’ve let the editor know I plan for it to be my final) giving insight from a recovered Morgellons patient to the medical professional will be published. I wrote and pursued publication of these pieces to better our understanding of this condition (and improve the lives of those suffering). In one of my communications with a major Morgellons research team I was told, “It’s all about time and money”; I’d like to see researchers replace this attitude with one focused on the health and happiness of those suffering.

With all of this being said, instead of attempting to make my typical weekly blog entry, I will blog only when something significant enough to shift our understanding of Morgellons occurs. I feel I’ve done all I can. It is time to “Let Go and Let God”. Peace, Joe

Blog/Radio Show With Dr. Omar Amin

Pam Crane will be hosting a show with Dr. Omar Amin this week. I hope to listen when it is broadcast, but I may have to listen to it after it airs.

Dr. Amin has done some of the most important research related to Morgellons (NCS) and was the key player in my recovery. I'm certain this will be a very worthwhile listen!



http://www.blogtalkradio.com/pamcrane/2011/11/03/dromar-amin-timeline-disease-toxens-parasite-whos-first

Morgellons Focus on Health
Dr. Omar Amin
Time line for the mark of causation in 'Disease' Such as Morgellons also known as Neurocutaneous Syndrome
Toxins? Fungus? Parasite? Who's First?
by Morgellons Focus on Health

Thu, Nov 3, 2011
Pacific 4:00PM

Call in number to as questions

(661) 621-7550


Thanks.

Blessings

Pamela Crane

www.Morgellonsfocusonhealth.com

Pamela@morgellonsfocusonhealth.com

Brain Work Out

The brain is pretty complicated. Those who claim expertise in brain studies seem to be realigning and uncovering new understanding all the time. For myself, as a teacher, scholar, and having recovered from symptoms I believe are entirely connected to neurotoxicity, brain work is essential. When I'm not writing, reading, talking or listening, I like to try to exercise my brain in different ways. I don't entirely understand the brain, but I do know it feels right to "work it out".

We each have our likes and dislikes. I think it is helpful in several ways to try to get the gray matter up and running daily. Certainly some studies indicate it keeps us sharp and less likely to end up with dementia and such. For myself, it has also been an indicator of problems...deep problems likely related to my endocrine system.

Recently, I visited a local dollar store and got a puzzle book to challenge myself (I like sudoko but am less fond of crossword puzzles). Whatever I pencil through, I feel it's good for me. Of course, there's endless online possibilities. I also like to play cards, but have a hard time finding cribbage lovers (my favorite game). Another possibility is to take some courses at a local college or purchase coursework (as I did last spring through The Great Courses (a company which sells lecture series...I'm not much of one for lectures...but it works sometimes)).

You know your own likes and dislikes...whatever gets your brain buzzing and moving is worth doing. My suggestion is- Just do it!

Crawling Sensations, Fibers and Other Noted Morgellons Syndrome Symptoms: Another Theory for Sufferers to Consider

This was posted some time ago on the blog Morgellons-A Mudane Approach. I am currently working on a better presentation of this theory. I made one glaring mistake and I noted it in parenthesis.



I am not a medical professional. Let me repeat that. I am not, never have been and have no desire to ever become a medical professional. I might best be labeled a reluctant participant, as I suffered from Morgellons Syndrome Symptoms.

I have done my best to document what I went through (see Keleher 2008 “Hell and Back Again”). I wrote about connections to mercury and these horrific symptoms. I’ve angered medical professionals and sufferers. I’ve lost some old friends. I’ve found some new friends. I’ve written, emailed, and spoke on the phone with others who suffer. I’ve cried a bunch and still do (I don’t exactly know why).

I know it is possible to get well. I know what I suffered from and what I think most are suffering from is mercury as a neurotoxin. It is treatable with chelation and changes in lifestyle.

What I share are my thoughts. Yes, it is speculation. It is theory related to symptoms I had and you may still have. In reading be warned there are many “I think”s and “I believe”s. It’s all theory; it may be right or it may be wrong. Still, I feel compelled to share.

The Cause
I believe the recent growing numbers of those suffering from Morgellons symptoms is due to two ingredients- toluene and mercury.

Toluene is found in glues, methamphetamines and cocaine(this is not true....what I should have said is these are potentially interactive with mercury). I believe the toluene found in dental adhesives, and connected to symptoms by Dr. Omar Amin, correlate with a surge of sufferers of these symptoms (and possibly via prenatal passage the exponentially growing number of children with autism, ADD and ADHD).

I think toulene interacts with mercury to allow passage of this toxin into the nervous system. Toluene may dissipate after carrying mercury into the system leaving deposits of mercury. The primary source of mercury in the mouth (though there are other sources causing mercury increases including some skin creams, coal burning power plants, and historic mining activities) decreases as secondary deposits in the nerves increase.

The associated symptoms of this neurotoxin can be viewed as occurring in stages with new symptoms added as secondary deposits increase. The stages, based partly on my own experience, but also drawing from the experience of many others, might look like: 1) depression and panic attacks (typical symptoms of neurotransmitter blockage), 2) bloating, heart palpitations, and exhaustion, 3) crawling sensations, 4) fibers and skin lesions….and so on.

All of the symptoms noted with Morgellons, except crawling sensations and fibers, have been shown to be associated with mercury poisoning; because of this, I want to share how I think these two symptoms form.

Crawling Sensations
In the earliest onset of the “bugs”, I had faint flea-like zips across my scalp. I believe this was mercury pathways forming within the nerve cell network under my skin.

As the secondary levels of mercury increased, the sensations of crawling began. My crawling always started each night at the rear, right occipital area of my scalp (in journaling, at that time, I referred to the spot on my scalp as the “Mother Ship”); this area correlates with the low spot of my skull when resting (I have a preference for sleeping on my right with my head cocked back). The extreme density of mercury I believe was pooling.

Crawling typically began as the sun was setting and there was a change in temperature. Within weeks, the crawling expanded to my groin and bottom of my feet. Eventually my whole body had the sensations. It was during this time that I was diagnosed with sheet mites and scabies (and found out about something called Morgellons).

I believe as levels of mercury further increased, the crawling became more pronounced and expanded throughout my body. The sensation was especially disturbing when it began in my ear canals and nostrils.

I think the crawling is due to the expansion and contracting of mercury within the network of nerves. I picture it as one spider-shaped cell after another filling and twitching as mercury moves through (causing a kind of “cartoon effect” movement); one sufferer described this observed movement as certain proof of parasitic infestation. I still get a faint twitch occasionally at the base of my feet (but it feels different and I suspect it relates to nerve repairs and not mercurial movement).

If the Morgellons symptoms occur in stages related to increases in mercury, then I arrived at one of the middle stages. I never found fibers projecting from my skin or had any lesions. I’m thankful for this.

Fibers
I think the fibers are the result of repeated cell damage repairs from mercury expansion and contrasting through the nerve system. A weak spot may have mercury break through and this will “scab” over. The fibers eventually poke through as they have nowhere else to go.

Final Words
I know there are many theories out there. Mine is one among many. Take it as such.

Morgellons is an especially cruel condition. In addition to the symptoms, the medical community has not been especially kind. The sensationalism of the media doesn’t help. Isolation and lose of connections to other people is difficult. There is one thing though that especially irritates me; I cannot stand that there are people taking advantage of the vulnerability of many sufferers. For those snake oil sales people making money off this condition, someday you will get yours; it is true what we do to others we do to ourselves.

For those suffering, be careful of the sharks, keep faith that answers will come soon, and always, always keep an “attitude of gratitude” for all you have. You are not alone and things will get better! I wish each and ever one of you a clear path towards health.

Communications

Wouldn't it be great to have sufferers and Morgellons medical researchers sit down together and talk? What a concept, eh? People who are experiencing the symptoms (or have experienced) having discussions with people who are trying to end the suffering. There are some really great people out there trying to help understand Morgellons. Let me mix the old and new.

Trish Springstead has spoke with me on the phone and endlessly via emails. We have become friends. She has had success in helping many people and continues to help. She has been a constant supporter of my efforts and gave me exceptional support in my overseas venture. Thanks, Trish!

Another good, good friend is Mr. Commonsense. He has put endless time and effort into the blog Morgellons- A Mundane Approach at: http://morgellonspgpr.wordpress.com/ . His blog is well followed and offers endless resources to the Morgellons Crowd. If you haven't visited him, take a look!

In the last couple of days, I've been able to have productive communications with several others connected to the Morgellons community. Vitaly Citovsky, PhD, a biochemist from SUNY at Stonybrook, had been assisting in some of the research through the Charles E. Holman Foundation. He was willing to read some of my research and offer several comments (I'm certain he is a busy man, so I was impressed with his response).

I also connected to Dr. Dan Harper this morning on the phone; we actually spoke for quite awhile. I emailed off links to my research. He strikes me as someone who sincerely listens to his patients...and truly knowledgeable on all facets of Morgellons. I'm excited that he will be doing a study related to Morgellons...and hopeful for some answers!

I sent off some materials to Dr. Andrew Weil also (why not?). His website suggest the CDC will offer answers sometime soon (anyone holding their breath on this, please stop). He's popular enough and he'd make a good Morgellons liaison.

I'm not certain how to end this entry. I guess it pays to keep trying goes without saying.

Morgellons Spectrum

I believe the primary cause of Morgellons's symptoms is mercury as a neurotoxin. As the levels of mercury increases beyond the blood/brain barrier so too do the symptoms. When I consider my own case it is like an onion with layers (increase the layers and additional symptoms occur, decrease the layers and symptoms disappear).

I had many unexplained medical symptoms prior to the crawling sensations of Morgellons; these include panic attacks/ depression (these symptoms go hand in hand), racing/irregular heart beats, severe loss of energy (went from 20 miles+ of mountainous trail running to barely being able to walk a single mile), bloating, irritable bowel syndrome, "chronic prostatitis", E. D. (hope I don't have to spell it out). These symptoms started as early as 1988 (graduate school)and carry through the present. Since I had my dental work replaced and began chelation, most of these symptoms have not occurred (although I still have some degree of bloating). In short, I do feel there is a connection between past symptoms and issues of toxicity. The cleaner my body, the better I am.

I will mention having had five emergency room visits over the last six years. The symptoms for each were similar--I felt disoriented, had difficulty breathing, got irregular heart beats, and was certain I was about to die. I was told they were severe panic attacks. There was also something going on with my blood sugar levels. I haven't had anything like this in over a year and think they could relate to high levels of mercury in the air from the power plants in the Four Corners (I do not live there any more because of these).

I have to mention in my many years of suffering from this mix of various symptoms no medical professional ever made mention of them possibly related to mercury poisoning. The medical world needs to better understand mercury's effects!

So, if my case is typical of the effects of increased mercury levels, then Morgellons as a condition related to mercury levels is occurring in a spectrum. The reason documented cases do not appear the same is due to 1) levels of toxin, and 2) individual reaction to toxin.

If this spectrum is proven true, consider the drugs being given to cover up or manage symptoms. The drug industry makes more money if we stay sick.

While I am concerned about those suffering, I think the unborn may be the "canaries in the coal mine" as mercury is passed from mother to child at ten times the rate! It is awful to think about. Again, the drug industry profits by children being born with autism, ADD and ADHD.

The hope I give in this entry is that we can see the patterns and understand the implication. Removing primary toxins (dental and etc.) along with aggressive detoxing can lead to elimination of symptoms. Clean up our bodies,our families, our towns, our countries... then we can clean up the world.