Reclaiming Your Internal Environment- Part 6- The Progress, Challenges, and Stumbles

Though we seldom talk about it, when it comes to health in America we are conditioned to believe almost always a simple pill will make things right. If there was a pill to take away Morgellons, I'm certain many would opt to take it (and it would make about 95% of the medical world happier...not to mention the drug companies). Morgellons or HyperToxicity Syndrome or NeuroCutaneous Syndrome is truly systemic. My experience has been that the only real way to get well and eliminate symptoms (some which you may presently think have nothing to do with Morgellons) is to go after the beast and detox, detox, detox!

We have to be careful though. If you loosen mercury or other heavy metals from their molecular bind where they are currently and you overtax your detox system (such as kidney or liver), you may find yourself dealing with other health issues. Such toxins have to be removed with care and patience. It will take time.

I know in my efforts over the past 4+ years, I've had some major...feeling better, feeling better, feeling better...then suddenly oh, I'm feeling bad again. The best example of this would be my endocrine system challenges over the past year.

Obviously I wouldn't have gone over to Tanzania to teach if I though my health would be an issue. I had been feeling at the top of the world having taken up rock climbing and started some serious trail running again. I though all of my health issues were in the past and then stress overtook me. The students I would be teaching were from wealth and, having been raised on a farm with little, this certainly brought out some of my insecurities. While most of the staff were good people, there were enough game-playing coworkers to make my life difficult. I felt I had stress upon stress upon stress. Without reliving this extremely dysfunctional setting where the American male did not fit in, I will simply state I started to have some serious symptoms. Piecing it all together over time, I realized I was dealing with endocrine issues. It was a major stumble!

Still with 6 months of feeling like crap and getting no answers from the various doctors I'd visited, I needed to go through this challenge. I made it through another course of crappy symptoms and found my way back to health.

The thing about Morgellons and even related endocrine challenges is they are deep core issues of health. As someone who relies heavily on my mind working proper to teach and to write, I have felt completely broken at times (and these are the times I'm most likely to seek a closer connection to God); maybe this is for the best.

Given all of the challenges and stumbles, you may wonder is it worth it? I've got to say absolutely! I love life and living! If you've visited my main website (jwkeleher.com) and looked through some of my travels, you've seen a glimpse of my life after Morgellons. You can get through Morgellons. You can reclaim your internal environment and you can live a life more full than you have ever dreamed! It is out there. Reach for it! Enough of the exclamation points (my editor hates them)and enough on reclaiming your internal environment. Saint George fought the dragon and you can fight this! Carpe diem, Joe

The Power to Forgive

I know I have said it before, but I'll say it again. I think we are on the verge of understanding Morgellons for what it truly is. I know that ever day without answers to those suffering can feel like an eternity. Let's consider answers are near at hand. What can we expect?

If we suddenly are given the absolute answer of what Morgellons is about, the first shift would be one away from understanding cause and towards designing a best and most affordable route to health for sufferers. This needs to happen quickly and sensibly.

If the issue is found to be toxicity, I suggest sufferers make health and not anger priority number one. I am not suggesting anger isn't justified. What I am suggesting is anger will not help in healing. Everybody deserves to heal.

If the cause is found to be mercury, as I believe, can we approach the future as a challenge? Can we forgive the doctors, researchers, dentist and others for questioning, labeling, and degrading? It would be an enormous challenge for Morgellons sufferers as a whole, but also as individuals.

I know there is a power in forgiving. There is also a power in asking to be forgiven. I believe peace can be found. Whatever your beliefs, bring forgiving into the formula towards wellness.

Mercury in DOP Accounts

This piece was written several years ago. I do believe Morgellons Disease and most DOP accounts are documenting the same symptoms set.



I noted likely connections to mercury while reviewing some early DOP (delusion of parasitosis) accounts. While it is difficult to draw a direct line between mercury exposure and the symptom set once referred to as DOP, enough probable connections exist to merit a review by a qualified medical researcher (or researchers). Patient exposure falls into use of mercury as a medicinal for treating syphilis and use of cosmetics containing mercury. Each is briefly discussed below. As mercurial skin creams are still in use in some parts of the world, some relevant cases are presented.

Syphilis
Mercury was used to treat syphilis over a span of 450 years until the introduction of penicillin in 1943 (Tilles and Wallach 1996: 501- 10). Several cases documenting DOP in Wilson and Miller (1946) make mention of syphilis. Case 38, “…had syphilis at the age of 40 and received standard treatment for two years” (Wilson and Miller 1946: 51). Case 41 “…had syphilis at the age of 36 and had five years of treatment” (Wilson and Miller 1946: 52). While mercury as treatment in Case 38 and 41 is not stated, it is likely it was used. Case 46 does document mercury playing a role as, “a ship’s captain (who) complained of itching and creeping sensations which involved the face severely, but all parts of the body had been affected at times. The disorder had begun twenty years previously with a crawling sensation about the genitals and perineal region. He believed pubic lice to be present at the time but could never find them. He tried strong mercurial ointment, and within a day or so this medication had ‘driven them all over the body’” (Wilson and Miller 1946: 52).
There also appears to be some connection between patients suffering from a condition called syphilophobia and DOP. “Syphilophobia is a psychiatric symptom which may accompany or precede all stages of mental illness, and is analogous in all features to the delusion of parasitosis” (Macalpine 1957: 99). For unclear reasons, Wilson (1952) categorizes DOP with syphilophobia. Self-treatment with mercurial ointment is a possibility.

Cosmetics
Some early cosmetics had mercury as a key ingredient. A dated source itself states, “Despite the fact that topical mercury preparations were condemned as both useless and dangerous almost twenty years ago, these creams are apparently still available” (Oliveira et. al. 1987: 304). For unknown reasons, mercurial skin creams are still widely in use throughout Africa, SE Asia, many Arabic speaking countries, and Mexico (see related research under search of “mercury skin cream” on Pubmed.gov).
Cases 5 and 6 presented by Wilson and Miller in addition to having DOP symptoms had vitigo (irregular pigmentation likely treated with mercurial, skin-whitening cream) (1946:47). Documented commonalities between cases states, “’bugs’ may come out of such common household items as toothpaste, petroleum jelly, or cosmetics” (Schrut and Waldron 1963: 429). Also noteworthy is, “The typical patient with delusion of parasitosis is a woman over 40 (the condition is three times as common in women)” (Br. Med. J. 1977: 790); this pattern could relate to prolonged use of cosmetics.
In a large scale study of dermal effects of skin whitening creams, “of the 368 women questioned…main skin complaints included dermatophyte infections (n= 105) and scabies (n= 69)” (Mahe’ et. al. 2003). Another study of a condition found in Nigerian patients called “Ode Ori” is described as, “crawling sensations in the head and body, noises in the ears, palpitations and various other somatic complaints” (Makanjuola 1987). Similarly, Ebigbo presents “heat in the body and head; crawling, heavy and biting sensations” found in Nigeria (Ebigbo 1993:396- 401).
Mercurial skin creams are still in use in Mexico (also in US border states. See CDC study “Update: Mercury Poisoning Associated with Beauty Cream – AZ, CA, NM and Texas” 1996). The US distribution map of Morgellons Disease (which is widely accepted by the medical community as the same as DOP) on Morgellons.org shows higher concentrations in US/ Mexico Border States.

Discussion
I am not a qualified medical researcher nor am I objective in presenting such information as connections between mercury and DOP symptoms (see documentation of my recovery from related symptoms in “Hell and Back Again” Keleher 2008). None the less, I cannot help seeing connections and possible connections throughout the medical research on the symptoms set labeled DOP (and other times Morgellons Disease) and mercury. Certainly, some of the connections in this paper as well as an earlier paper (see Keleher 2008) are speculative. My background as a researcher is in the admittedly soft science of archaeology. My hope in presenting this and other information is that a qualified medical professional (or professionals) will further the investigation.

Sources:

Center for Disease Control and Prevention, "Mercury Poisoning Associated With Beauty Cream- AZ, CA, NM and Texas 1996." MMWR Morb. Mortal Weekly Report 45, no. 1 (1996): 633-5.

"Delusions of Parasitosis." British Medical Journal 26, no. 1 (1977): 790-791.

Keleher, Joseph W.. "Hell and back Again: An Account of Morgellons Disease and Its Cure From a Former Sufferer." Explore! 17, no. 4 ( August 2008):

Keleher, Joseph W.. "Patterns in Early Morgellons Disease Considered as Effect of Mercury Exposure." Explore! 17, no. 6 (December 2008):

Mahe’, A, Ly F, Aymaid G and Dangou JM. "Skin Diseases Associated With the Cosmetic Use of Bleaching Products in Women From Dakar, Senegal." British Journal of Dermatology 148, no. 3 (March, 2003): 493-500.

Makanjuola, RO. ""’Ode Ori’ A Cultural-Bound Disorder with Prominent Somantic Features in Yoruba Nigerian Patients." Acta. Psychiatric Scandinavia 75, no. 3 (1987): 231-6.

Macalpine, Ida. "Syphilophobia: A Psychiatric Study." British Journal of Venereal Disease 33, no. (1957): 92.

http://www.morgellons.org Internet: accessed 27 October 2009

http://www.pubmed.gov Internet: accessed 31..October 2009.

Schrut, Albert H., MD and William G. Waldron. "Psychiatric and Entomological Aspects of Delusory Parasitosis." Journal of the American Medical Association 186 (1963): 429-430.

Sneddon, I. B.,. "The Mind and the Skin." British Medical Journal (March, 1949): 472-5.

Tilles, G. and D. Wallach. "The Treatment of Syphilis with Mercury: An Exemplary Therapeutic History." History of Science in Medicine 30, no. 4 (1996): 501- 510.

Wilson, J. Walter and Hiram E. Miller. "Delusions of Parasitosis." Archives of Dermatology and Syphilology 54, no. (1946):

Normal Life?

I'm sitting at the coffee shop. I'll be substitute teaching for the afternoon. I've a little time before the caribbe crepes are finished (my lunch). Some people would say I'm living a normal life...others wouldn't.

I'm trying to have some clear idea of how I view my life as normal since my symptoms.Of course, I'm asking first "What is normal?"

I think my town and neighborhood is normal. I've compared it to Bedford Falls in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" (it really does look like it...except there isn't any high bridges to jump from. This may be a good thing). There's a town square, gas lit medians, and tons of well-kept historic buildings. The look of the place,it being a walk-around town, and easy access to hiking made it appealing.

My neighborhood has well-groomed yards, good neighbors, bad neighbors, and well-used porches. It has a pleasant Mayberry kind of feel to it. Generally there isn't much excitement.

I'm not certain what people think of me. I think I'm considered a decent person with a liberal slant. I am open to talking about my health situation. I even share what I've written about Morgellons with some. Some are interested, some aren't.

LATER-
I've returned from subbing for a half day. The kids were great and I enjoyed my time. I had thoughts about how I'd finish this entry after work. Thoughts can change though...and mine have.

Stopping at the school office before walking down to the library to blog, I spoke with the school secretary.

"How'd it go?" She asked (as she always does).
"Very well," I said. "I'm glad I didn't take the sub position up in the high school."
"It was a good day not to sub in the high school. A student was in an accident."
We talked for a little while longer.It is very sad.

I guess we all find ourselves from time to time remembering just how precious life is. Though I didn't know this young person, I feel for the family and friends. I had a similar situation happen last year when I was living and teaching on the Navajo Nation. A friend's boyfriend, who had recently become a father, had a heart attack and died; it was sudden and unexpected (I called my mother just after this to tell her I loved her...it's the most awkward words to share with her).

What does it cost to let each other know we care about each other? I wasn't brought up in a "warm fuzzy" family setting, but I try to let people know I care about them (family, friends, neighbors, and even you). It cost nothing and yet it brings light to us and others.

Maybe this is what I need to be writing about (funny how things work). Maybe I needed to remind myself and others that no matter what...life is precious. Whatever your situation, whatever you ache or pain, see your life as a fragile and unique creation...because that is exactly what it is!

Me normal? Maybe not. Instead of reaching for a normal life, we need to reach for the best life we can have!

Love and light to you.

Morgellons Spirituality

(This was written several weeks ago when I went on a camping/climbing adventure in West Virginia. I thought this might be a good home for it. In a sense it is a condensed version or alteration of the A.A. 12 Steps)

I’m twisted to the side in my sleeping bag. It is early morning at a campsite near Coopers Rock, West Virginia. Birds are calling across the fields and between trees and I’m admiring the nylon fabric patterns and stitching of the tent. I’m with a group of friends to go climbing for the weekend.

Why am I contorting with pen in hand to write you? I’ve been trying my best to compose a piece on spirituality in Morgellons; it’s an important topic. I can’t possibly explain the significance my beliefs, my spirituality, and my faith played in my own recovery. I’ve made a couple of drafts on the topic, felt they were decent and then looked at them the next day and decided they weren’t quite right. Here’s another attempt (let’s hope I find the right words and don’t run out of scrap paper).

First let me confess. I’m not a saint…never have been, never will be. There were many times when I was suffering from Morgellons symptoms that I was convinced I was making payment for past sins. It’s possible. Looking back now though, I think it was a hurdle, a problem, a challenge to overcome—that’s all.

In a recent conversation about Morgellons with a friend, she said, “It seems very spiritual”.
My response was, “When you feel like your body has been taken over and you’re loosing your mind, what have you got left?—your spirit”. At least that’s how it was for me.

Maybe it is different for you. Maybe it is possible to find a way to health without building on your spirituality. Maybe.

The sensei for a karate class I took many years ago used to have us meditate forming a triangle with our thumbs and forefingers—the corners representing body, mind, and spirit—and constantly reminded us to “Bring your spirit to class!”. The triangle is the strongest form when creating architecture. A tripod is infinitely more stable than a bi-pod. The Celts, my ancestors, considered three a sacred number (and this transferred nicely when St. Patrick came along). In healing, consider the three. Body. Mind. Spirit.

My recovery relied greatly on skills I’d built over my years of attending twelve step meetings (Adult Children Of Alcoholics…as one friend put it, after finding out about my situation with Morgellons, “You’re a survivor and then a survivor again!”). Without going into what I believe or what I think you should believe (I’m not into proselytizing…and this may be the greater part of the reason I’ve had difficulty writing about this topic), I also follow the Quaker faith. Those pieces being presented, let me share what I think was useful in my coping and recovery.

1) Know what you believe- I think The Creator (God, The Light, Nature, Collective Conscience, The Force or whichever name you give your Higher Power) image for each of us is personal. Even those who label themselves atheist or agnostic carry some impression of a “Higher Power” (I had a saying from a high school teacher, and former army sergeant, coming back to me when I first suffered from Morgellons; he’d often say, “There’s no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole”. If Morgellons isn’t a foxhole, I don’t know what is!). The Morgellons Sufferers are of every shape, size and faith. Let your faith comfort you.
2) Build on your faith foundation- Prayer and meditation calmly connect us to our Higher Power. I am certain calming helps in healing. For some this connection is formal, such as going to church services, for some it is not (maybe just a walk in the park). You know what works for you—let it help you heal.
3) Expect miracles- Einstein once said, “There are two ways to live your life—one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle.” Consideration of the interconnectedness of perception and miracles helped me. I suppose we all self-define miracles. Along my path to health, there were many miracles. Whatever you perceive as a miracle, acknowledge it as such…and give thanks.
4) Give thanks- I had to say it again. When I was deeply suffering, I found myself waking with exhaustion but started my day by mentally listing and giving thanks for the little things—the sunshine, the bird songs, the beauty of this world, and other things that came to mind. Simple pleasures of life became more meaningful. Three years later, I am more thankful of my life than ever! Life is a gift and the little things (bills, confrontations, and telemarketers for example) that used to consume me have little power.

There is something that needs to be said, but I’m not certain I can say it correctly. Faith, hope and love are every bit as important as any managing or healing protocol. The tides are turning with this condition. People are reclaiming their lives. I hope and pray the medical community will soon share answers and all of us will be on the path to wellness.

I’m off to spend some quality time with some big rocks. I’ve thought about some clever analogies of climbing and faith, but I suppose all of them go without saying. May your spirit grow along with your health! Peace, Joe

A Beginning

This is the second blog I've started up. I'm titling it Morgellons Joe.

My story should be fiction, but it isn't. Just over three years ago, I had a set of physiologic symptoms some call Morgellons Disease. For several months, I had what felt like bugs crawling under my skin (especially at night). I was severely exhausted (slept 12 hours each night and woke up feeling like I'd just run a half marathon), anxious, fearful and depressed.

With the removal and replacement of amalgam fillings along with aggressive detoxification, I found my way back to health. I still have visible twitching at the base of my feet from time to time, but have not felt the crawling in three year. My energy levels are normal and seem to be improving with time (I've recently started up running again).

On my path toward healing, I documented what I went though (I recommend all sufferers of similar symptoms do the same) and it was published. I also noted patterns in the historic documentation of these symptoms in relation to mercury exposure; this was also published by Explore Publications. I posted several other articles on the blog created by another sufferer and titled Mr. Common Sense (great blog...by the way!). So, I feel like I've made some contribution toward understanding this serious medical condition.

I see this condition as the result of toxicity issues (specifically mercury as a neurotoxin), so understand my blog will have a mercury-as-neurotoxin slant. General topics of discussion are likely to include (but not be limited to): detoxing, healing, and life after Morgellons.

I am a fairly average Joe. I guess you'll find that out.